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digsysminimilk's LiveJournal:
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| Friday, January 23rd, 2009 | | 12:20 pm |
Today, I found this website: http://www.godisimaginary.com/index.htmCasting an amused eye over the title of the website, I clicked on it to have a browse in my break from revision. One one hand, it is thoroughly hilarious, since the author uses incredulous 'proofs' to try and maintain that 'God is imaginary'. Some of these proofs include Santa Claus also being imaginary (though he forgets completely about the figure of St Nicholas); science makes people better - not miracles, therefore prayer - and God - don't exist; man wrote the bible so since God is imaginary since he didn't write it himself (i didn't realise God was a human with hands..i thought God was a higher plane); and, perhaps most amusing of all, failure to give to the poor and live meakly ultimately proves that Jesus and God are imaginary - and that's why you don't act more charitably. Despite this laugh-a-minute page, however, it doesn't half anger me that this kind of dogmatic atheist, anti-religion, prejudiced belief is just allowed without even a blink of the eye! No one would stand by and let a religious fundamentalist tell a mother she was a sinful whore for being divorced and having a career, would they? In my belief (i hope derived from God as opposed to a 'delusional' faction in my brain) atheist fundamentalists are just as tragic as religious fundamentalists. * Neither grasp the true meaning of a 'faith'. * Neither discover the message of LOVE in religious texts. * Just as atheist fundamentalists don't realise that troubles caused by so-called religion are caused by MAN, not by the doctrine - so too do religious fundamentalists fail to see this same point when looking at other religions than their own. * Neither make any effort to stifle their judgements (in the heavy sense of the word) on others. * Neither promulgate messages of peace, kindness, charity, hope, and love. * Neither realise their hypocrisy and horrifying 'twisting' of doctrine. * Neither have any regard for (or to) moderate faith believers. * Neither shows an open mind and a willingness to learn. * Both demonstrate an intense prejudice and discrimination against a section of people, consistently without a sense of remorse of conscience. Unfortunately for me, i then tend to fall into the trap of hoping that there really IS a 'God' who, when these bigots die can finally reveal to them how narrow-minded and cruel they can be. Of course, if i judge their interpretations to be wrong, then sure as anything they can judge my own the same. I hope for the sake of humanity, however, that an interpreted avowal of peace and love and kindness is bordering somewhere on the right side of faith and religion: since apparently there isn't enough of it. | | Thursday, January 15th, 2009 | | 11:45 am |
2008
01. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? I painted the lounge a slightly sweeter tone of Communist Red. Wait, that was 2009. Fuck. OK, so i'm gonna sayyy..i stayed at the top of a very very tall castle tower all by myself for like 15 minutes and then i climbed all down by myself. I've never done that before, and it was a grand achievement! 02. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I can't remember them. I think they were to always be honest with Mike, give up smoking, and probs just work hard. I'm gonna say i passed 2 out of 3. 03. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes - but i can't remember who it is! But i definitely remember the event occurring. 04. Did anyone close to you die? Ermm, no one especially close, no. 05. What countries did you visit? Wales and England. Fuck me, is that all? Great. That's a new resolution made then.. 06. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Warmth. 07. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory? 13th-15th April. Bassenthwaite! 15th-17th October. Llandudno and Conwy! 26th July. My birthday. 27th December. Calire's bday and first good night with southeast friends for ages :) 08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving the summer, i reckon. But also standing against Simon Shaw and getting out photo taken (ahhhhhhhh i love it!). And getting my legs out more confidently. 09. What was your biggest failure? Not seeing enough of my friends and thinking at some stage that i didn't have a great arse(like what??). 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Sadly, nothing too serious or exciting. I was depressed in the summer LOLZ, does that count? 11. What was the best thing you bought? Bright red lippy. And also Ken Follett's 'World Without End'. 12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? Golly, christ knows. I'm gonna say..everyone's and no-one's? 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Occasionally dad and michelle's (and they're still as sickening now). Also: AC, Gordon Brown, and some of the boys of our group in Liverpool: NYE, ahem. 14. Where did most of your money go? Rent / food / gas&lekky / clothes / books / houseware / train tickets. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The end of the summer holidays!!! And thinking about my own little flat possibly to be found THIS year :) 16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008? 'That's Not My Name' by the Ting Tings. i HATE that song, but it's clearly gonna stay etched in my head for the rest of time, grrr. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: 1. happier or sadder? In one way i am much happier, but i am also nervous and anticipating of something. 2. thinner or fatter? I have NO idea. Quite possibly fatter.. 3. richer or poorer? Poorer, for sure. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Travelling, walking mountains, bought even more nice houseware-y stuff, reading, going to the cinema. 19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying about the future and how i was gonna get through stuff. Seems so pointless and stupid now...! 20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it at my mum's with her and Pete. Quiet and super :) As for how i'm gona spend it THIS year (2009) i have no clue. 21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? Hah, Mike. 22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I fell in love with Ken Follett's novels (Pillar of the earth, and World without end) bigstyle. My true love remained as ever. 23. How many one night stands in this last year? Nil! 24. What was your favourite TV programme? I'm gonna say Friends. Half the time that's via dvd and not the telly, but it's been a constant source of comfort. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My hate for someone has been greatly reduced by lack of comfort, but my dislike is much stronger than it was this time last year. 26. What was the best book(s) you read? PILLARS OF THE EARTH, WORLD WITHOUT END. Seriously, i'm digging these books. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Christ. Well probably nothing very modern, i'm retiring away from that temporarily. I have reverted back to good old mowtown and soul. Could be considered as a REdiscovery.. 28. What did you want and get? Ermmmm. A peaceful christmas, better housemates, a better relationship, a locket. 29. What did you want and not get? Sigh. A holiday, relief from headaches, some time to myself/a bit of limitless freedom, more financial flexibility. 30. What were your favourite films of this year? I've barely been to the cinema! Soo, best film that i saw for the first time this year: Pan's Labyrinth. That's going into my ultimate collection! 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 20, and i spent the weekend in Liverpool with Mikey and friends. 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Very possibly having a car (hah). And a holiday. And also some brothers and sisters. And more people who don't give a toss about drugs. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Generally same as it's ever been, but often smarter? 34. What kept you sane? Having Mike on the other end of the phone (thank you so much, like seriously..) and the existence of Liverpool. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Haha, Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? Colonial Africa, Weber's political philosophy, Bernstein's political philosophy. The downfall of Thatcher. Oh, and also the government's decision to spend their way out of the recession, fucking mugs. 37. Who did you miss? Above all: Mike, Claire, MA, my Grandpa, and other close friends. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I'm gonna be really sad and say Joe Femia, my political philosophy tutor from early 2008. 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Go out and get what you want, and don't wait for other people to pull you back. Live your own life and not others'. 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year? "So i'm moving to new york cos ive got issues with my sleep" | | Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 | | 3:42 pm |
I. Am. So. COLD. Argh!!! As much as i like my house i fucking hate it too!!!! I am absolutely sick of feeling fucking freezing, no matter how many layers i put on, or whether i have a hot water bottle against my belly, or whether i am wrapped in a woolly blanket. My face is tingling, my fingers cannot text or type properly because they are too cold but i cannot put gloves on because i NEED to work, on my computer. My feet feel like they are going to drop off, and my whole back is sore with rigid tension as mt body clams u against the fucking freeze.ARRRRRGGGGHHH! I think i wouldnt even care, except that the fact that i feel like im living outside hardly makes me feel like im in a fucking home at all, and this incessant cold is really stopping me from doing much-needed work. I would go to the library, but i need dinner, and i won't be able to get that in uni. I am angry, because i feel like the fuel poor (we probably are in this house) and i hate the cold so much. My hands are beginning to pulse, there is something very wrong. | | Friday, October 17th, 2008 | | 5:26 pm |
Achievement.
1) Third Year - Dissertation time. I LOVE this, i feel i finally have the freedom to delve into the human sum of knowledge and right a vast piece of work on something not approached before, something i am passionate about, and something which might enlighten someone, somewhere, no matter how minor or uninfluential. Yes, i love it. My working title is 'How have Indigenous Peoples reacted and responded to Globalisation?', looking at a post-Cold War context, and how globalisation has conversely enabled indigenous communities to voice their responses to a much larger arena. I feel that after a considerably lousy summer, i am finally in my element, and my mind feels totally on fire when i sit down to write, or receive an email from another person who is willing to contribute to my research. I do realise of course that thousands of students across the country will be taking up a dissertation, and it's hardly of thesis level, but this is my climatic piece of work in my university career, as it were, and i am so proud of myself and can't wait til i produce the final end product. Yay! 2) Careers stuff this term...time to start applying for graduate schemes etc etc. Having been to a grad fest on Wednesday, and read through two hefty employer directories, i've discovered that this country is apparently made up of business service providers. Who advise other business service providers. Who give technology to other service providers. Who help businesses. Needless to say, having imagined it this week, the thought of signing on to one of these meaningless schemes for a mediocre business more than sucks the spunk from my soul. Not that i'm expecting anything fantastic when i graduate, but in all seriousness i think i would rather sign on than sign up to a life of business boredom. Yes, call me idealistic (i am, and i'm not ashamed), but i have been ruthlessly hunting for the graduate schemes which may actually offer me a further insight to life. Enter: National Audit Office, Government Operational Research, International Development, and various green energy and environmental solution companies. Of course, in the perfect world, i'd be based in the North West, frequently in touch with development and protectionist organisations and companies, making trips out to all corner of the earth and writing about what i've discovered, and giving lectures to young impassioned students. I don't expect that (at least not right now - my ambition is not going to go away that easily) but there is absolutely no point in me trying to act against the drive to go and fulfil something, make something happen, help people. Afterall, there are too few people on this planet who do nothing to contribute positively to somebody else's life, and i'm not going to let myself get sucked down in some horribly mindnumbing job which has absolutely no impact whatsoever on someone who needs it. Anyway, point is, i am glad i've found a bit of a more focused direction in which to head, and boy i'm looking forward to it. 3) I am HAPPY. Yes!!!! :) Love! Current Music: Classic FM. | | Thursday, August 28th, 2008 | | 3:25 pm |
Aaaaarrrggh
My healing coldsore feels like someone has split my lip and squeezed half a lemon onto it. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrr! Fucking virus. | | Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 | | 9:26 am |
And so our lives will melt away, like cold ice withering in the unforgiving sun.
I am tired of War now.
I have given up on this world; my own personal arena is the only world i can be certain of, but that arena lies in a venue with a ticking bomb strapped to someone's chest somewhere in the shitty, stinking toilets.
I cannot justify war anymore, and i cannot accept justifications of it from anybody else. Not for pride, or regaining of territory, or anything. We cannot kid ourselves we are securing the lives of our children, or our children's children. We are not. We are killing them, essentially, before their time, before they are even a fused cell in the womb.
Clarification:
Country X and Country Z exist and live alongside eachother. One day, the leader of X decides to invade Z. Z's people are killed, wounded, left homeless. X rule supreme, treat the Zs like scum. Then, in a future generation, a hero arises from the Zs and for the Zs. He leads, he engages, and he sends wave upon wave of attack upon X. He has won back his land for the people of Z. In consequence, the X people are subjected to a reign of prejudice and discrimination. At least, until one day a new, less tired, hero rises up for the people of X. And so we have it, a perpetual system of greed, battle, and mistreatment.
So why fight? WHY FIGHT? We are literate, we are educated, we have records and history books and tv and vast tanks of knowledge. We know what happens. And still we are greedy, selfish bastards, who are happy to sate ourselves in the now, and screw over our children of the future. We are happy to rape them of the lives we supposedly fight for.
And to what end? Even if we desensitize ourselves to the pillaging that is to come in our future generations, how can we desensitize ourselves to the crimes that take place now? We may battle our armies, but we battle our citizens too, we kill them, we kill small children caught up in the crossfire who were merely playing with their dolls in a nearby house. We pass a young child a gun and tell them to join our side once they have blown the brains out of their mother and father. We crush people's lives, people who are still alive to recount the memories, rip them of their possessions and their families. We shove our deliriously hard cocks into gagged, petrified females unlucky enough to miss the escape from their burning homes, as their teenage son is forced to watch on in terror. We do it, we do it.
We do it for a bigger status, for more gold, to rid ourselves of the 'rats' we blame for our own mishaps. We do it because we our told to, or to ensure our entry to Heaven. Except we are already dead. We shall not enter Heaven. We have already entered Hell, which may once have been a blank canvas, but now we have shit all over it.
War, of course, has always happened. Since Adam and Eve first fought over which side of the bed. But if we can numb ourselves against all the human violations that occur in conflict, and against the thought of our future grandchildren being lined up against a bloody wall and shot to death, then surely at least we can provoke some feeling at just the mere scale of damage caused? We are not tin soldiers with red glistening swords; we are bits of brain smattered across the floor, are dirty rotten animals swathing in our own shit in a cramped van trying to reach the border. We are green and puking from a chemical attack. We are a small boy crying out for his daddy as he stands among the unspeakable, curseful devastation of the a-bomb. Why don't we get it anymore? The First World War was supposed to have shown us the devastating scale that war had reached, that was something to be avoided at all costs. But newer generations were born, and despite knowing how to put a gas mask on, and that people taped up their windows at night, no one is taught of the sheer terror of the two great wars of last century. We don't care - we love our defence. We love our big weapons, we love the pain, we love the very thing that within a second could blow our bones to tiny shards and kill our dreams, our hopes, our loves, our lives.
People. We are not people anymore. Only when we look at eachother on the bus, or hug eachother goodnight are we people. In international affairs we are labeled via our nation state. I am Britain. My cousin is France. My neighbour is Afghanistan. The band who won Eurovision are Russia. It is interesting that no one thinks of the people living ordinary lives in these countries, yet those who decree our death are humans just like you and I, born of a woman, dependent on her milk, shat in a nappy and had their father wipe their soiled, miniature genitals. How do they have the power to do these things, how do they have the sheer manpower behind them? Why does nobody say no?
Why does nobody care that we are dying? | | Thursday, July 10th, 2008 | | 3:03 pm |
This week...
...has been a pile of shite, to be crude. My commutes have been about 3 hours long, i spent monday night in the flat and i had to sleep in my dad's bed because there was no light in my own room and i was scared of the sparsity of it all, I miss my friends and am upset at the repeated failure in trying to atually get together with them, and the skin on my shoulder also hurts from the weighty bag i have been carrying today. Oh yes, and my landlord is also in need of a good kick in the bollocks. However, on the plus side, i DID get to be in the same room as good ol' Boris Johnson this morning (his hair is even more platinum than i had expected); i am completing my tasks as work and the sense of achievement is starting to come together; the book i am reading (The Pillars of the Earth) is absolutely superb and for it's setting - 1100AD - it is mightily accurate and imaginative. I am also getting my hair cut on friday, and despite whatever anyone may say, getting one's hair sorted is always a temporary high. But still, there is an overriding sense of wanting to be away from the present and IN the future. I should like to be not living with my father, and getting on with my own things. I should like to be not disheartened at plans with friends falling through, but in the future AT a restaurant table chatting lively and reinstating those friendships. I would also like to not be waiting on my landlord to send me the fucking contract, but to have the contract IN my hands. Twat. I am ok, but demotivated and nervous and i am starting to lose any sense of belonging that remained for me here in the south, and sadly i have a feeling that monday night's escapades only proved that right. My dinner awaiting me in the oven when i return home, and dad and michelle having already happily finished there, is another example. But of course, it could always be worse. I could be an alcoholic back on the rampage, the DAUGHTER of that alcoholic back on the rampage, or i could have cancer, or depression, or a pulmonary embellism. Yes, it is clear to see that at least my grass is probably greener to a few others right now.. So long, til next time! xxx | | Thursday, May 29th, 2008 | | 12:58 pm |
Things.
* I am going to Twickers on saturday, wooooo! :) * Allister is beyond human belief in his abdication of responsibility and i almost want to hit him. * I miss leanne and claire and becca and emma and the sex and the city movie coming out has made me miss them even more. * Howard's End is a fantastic book. *Meh. Rather uneventful post, better next time. | | Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 | | 3:25 pm |
So, today is thursday, and i leave on saturday, and on my way back from bluewater this afternoon i began to feel the first pangs of panic in my belly... *I don't want to leave my friends here so soon. It feels like a lifetime since i last saw them and i am so terrified of losing them via distance and time, that to know i'm leaving in two days, and with the fact that this is the last time i shall ever return to a home/base here in bheath once i go makes it all the more hard to say bye. *I'd kinda forgotten, through putting it to the back of my mind, but i've just realised i will have to finish packing absolutely everything. That includes: stuff to go to Michelle's, stuff to go to liverpool to be picked up once Mike's car is fixed, stuff to go up to liverpool with me on saturday, stuff i wich i could take with me on saturday but can't carry myself up to Euston (again, to be picked up when mike's car is fixed), and things like furniture and tv/lights etc to be labelled as to what's being kept and what's not. Yawn. *Need to carry on the reading for the Sartre essay, type up my notes, and email them to myself to print off once in Liverpool. *Need to email Rach about working this summer. *Need to get a train ticket to Liverpool. *Need to see people again.. Meh, most of all i'm gutted that some things i haven't got to do, like see Cooke, or go for a fry-up with Leanne, and prob what tops that is that i have barely seen my father the whole time i've been back. He'll be in tonight i think, but then that's the last time i'll see him til the summer. I know he's got a life and things, i guess i'm just sad that it feels like i have gone through leaving bexleyheath on my own. That isn't logically accurate, of course, since i wouldn't be moving if my dad wasn't involved (der), but i feel i've come home to yet another empty flat, evidently unlived in my my father now, and i've had to clear out completely on my own (with the exception of Mike being there last saturday), and more than that there's an irksome feeling that i was just 'left to it'. Anyway, i suppose there's nothing i can do about any of that, and i just have to get on with it. I look forward to going back to Liverpool, and dread coming back for the summer. Perhaps what i dread more is that i avoid coming home as much as i can, but that tears me away from my friends and gets me out of the loop. I just wish to God that we never fall apart. | | Monday, March 31st, 2008 | | 5:02 pm |
Oooh quiztime! I feel like a girl of 18 again!
01. What would you do if your ex just showed up at your house right now? Wonder what was wrong in his relationship. 02. What describes your relationship status? I reckon i'm well in there mate. 03. Where are you? On the lounge in the flat. 04. What's the last tv show you've seen? Quite possible Diagnosis Murder...I'm ready for your criticism.. 06. What is your favourite animal? Spring :) 07. Who have you thought about most today? Probably a mixture between Kunta Kinte, Mike, and Sartre. 09. Colour of your underwear? Grey and white Clavin Klein's. Ohhh yes :P 10. Colour of your shirt? Bright Pink tshirt. 12. Who's on speed dial? I don't use that, i'm retro
13. Honestly, what would you rather be doing right now?
My lover covered in chocolate.
14. What's your favourite season?
Spring, it's a release.
16. Are you a bad influence?
Not at all, love. And in any case, i've no idea whether i influence at all in the first place.
19. Would you do anything for someone else?
Depends who the someone else is. If it was an avid Labour supporter then yes, yes i would throw myself off a cliff. If only so i didn't have to listen to their preaching.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch?
Most likely, and i am under no allusions that i am not one. In fact, i rather relish being a bitch when someone REALLY deserves it, aheh.
21. Have you ever eaten pizza with sour cream?
Yeh, it's gorgeous. Mmmm.
24. How big is your room?
I have no idea and that is a thoroughly boring question.
25. Do you ever think people hate you for filling these things out?
I would assume it makes no difference to them whether i fill these in or not. Unless i gave all their private confessions away or something..
26. Does your best friend have a myspace?
Yep.
27. Whose page did you visit last?
My own, but i'm not an avid myspace user much these days.
28. Last time you went out to dinner?
The Raj in Birchington a few nights ago.
31. Do you have your senior yearbook?
Ahh, you assume that i have one.
32. Do you want to lick anyone right now?
I'm not a big licker, i'm more of a nibbler.
33. Do you have one or more CD's?
Aye i do.
34. What did you do last night?
Watched Tv, saw my dad, finished a book, nothing exceptionally interesting.
35. Favorite tv show?
No idea.
36. What's your name spelled backwards?
Leahcar. I'm so sad i didn't have to work that out, i already knew..
37. Do you have a song by Kelly Clarkson in your itunes library?
I don't have itunes, and i don't own any kelly clarkson.
38. iPod or Zune?
I'm evidently not cool enough to know what this 'zune' is, let alone make a preference here.
39. Do you watch Family Guy regularly?
Not regularly, but if i see it's on i'll watch it.
40. How do you feel about reality shows?
I don't mind them, i just hate people who milk fame off it.
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
Nope.
43. What's the last thing you bought?
A train ticket to Kings X and back.
45. Whats in your CD player right now?
Kings of Leon. Most of my cds are in Liverpool.
46. What's your favorite movie?
Amadeus or Sleeping Beauty...
48. Do you believe everyone has a soulmate?
I think that those people who have been with their loved ones for a very long time and will remain truly in love like that til the day they die, well, they gotta be proof of some kind of similar wavelengths between their souls, right?
49. Can you sing?
Depends if there's anyone there or not :P
50. Do you play any instruments?
Flute and Harmonica. I rarely play in front of anyone.
51. Have you ever been to another country?
Yep.
54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
I've been to Tunisia and Egypt.
55. Do you know how to knit?
Not anymore no!
56. What do you want to eat right now?
A sandwich of some kind..
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them on MySpace?
Errrr, no??!
58. What are you doing right now besides this survey?
Breating.
60. Baskin Robbins or Cold Stone?
No and no?
61. Math or English?
English by far.
62. Facebook or MySpace?
Facebook.
63. G-rated or R-rated movies?
What's g-rated? I think everyone secretly would pick the r-rated wouldn't they? We all love a bit o' cock sometimes!
64. Rather fly across the states or drive?
Ick. Probablt drive though neither really appeals to me.
65. Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Hulk, or Silver Surfer?
Superman. Althought really Bananaman is my favourite of all.
66. What's your favorite Disney movie?
Either Sleeping Beauty or Aladdin. And i'm not a fag for picking the former, the music and scenery in it is immense.
67. What Cell Phone Service do you have?
O2.
68. How many beers get you drunk?
No idea, it's a long time since beer was my choice of drinkums.
69. Mood?
Impatient with this quiz now, i want to get on. | | 12:41 pm |
A bain of human existence?
I recently finished reading Alex Haley's 'Roots', a book highly recommended to me by my mum and grandma, so figured i'd take the easter hols as opportunity to get on with this tome of a book. Well fuck me if i have never been so inspired in my life. Haley's story of a young boy taken from his village in Africa, his transportation to America, and his and his subsequent generations' struggles in their lives of slavehood was candid and real, and gave souls and humanity to the millions traded into that fearful world, rather than the usual statistics which i sometimes find in history can make it all too easy to view historic periods as episodes happening to non-people - people we forget are our own flesh and blood and who feel the same as us. Perhaps too waffly: point is, whilst i already knew,for example, that slave ships had pretty crappy conditions, i have never been forced to look it straight in the eye as when Haley described the bones showing through the shoulders of African slaves whose shoulders were rubbing profusely against the boards they were forced to lie upon in chains, whilst lying in a rotting mixture of their own shit, piss, and bodily fluids from the flux, rats and lice not showing much mercy to their whipped and broken skin. And so, whilst i was not only inspired by the wealth of knowledge i gained in the days i spent reading Roots, i also came to understand the dangerous and inhumane capabilities of fellow human beings in this world; i uncovered a realisation of the aggression and hostility between people. The realisation was there anyway of course (we all numbly acknowledge the horrors of the world as we watch the news with our tea), but it was put - nay, forced - into REALITY, experiences i could vividly imagine the characters in this book and me, well, we're all humans alike and, at the least, we cannot escape that one basic similarity. You'd imagine, then, my horror when in searching on the internet for the TV miniseries of Roots I came across various degrading reviews of the book. Something to do with plagiarism, i don't know much about that, but that's fair enough. But the thing rather which completely dismayed me was the researchers or genealogists or article writers who decide to publically criticise Roots and Haley with doubts in his actually descendency from Kunta Kinte (the boy taken from Africa) and the subsequent family chronology. Indeed, one writer of some article online seemed thoroughly ashamed of the writing-powers-that-be for not discrediting Haley and his work any more than has already been done. To be perfectly frank, i almost find myself speechless (and you all know how rare that is) at some people's attempts to bring down this piece of work. I mean, WHO GIVES A FUCK if the genealogy is right or not?? The characters in the book, even if indeed are completely accurate, are all dead slaves now anyway. ALL fucking slaves of that time are dead and buried. Perhaps the POINT of the book, to many, is its ability to make you look square on at history, and accept some of the atrocities which have happened, and whilst you cannot change them, nor to a certain extent even bear any responsibility, you can damn well at least strive to make sure they do not happen again! I am no descendent of an African slave, so the genealogy within the book would not affect me as it would black Americans who will indeed have an African ancestry they could want to trace, but that does not make me feel any less towards everything Roots entails, and only be inspired with an egalitarian attitude against racial and social discrimination. But i suppose some people are blind to the more abstract successes a book can hold. These people who try to tear Roots down due to genetic inaccuracies have just missed the whole point. Perhaps they are the people who have forgotten the soul in history and can live only by the numbers and stats in print. Forgive me for the rather crude comparison i am about to make, but wasn't that quite the disposition that the men who dealt in slavery bore? I think my point is made. Current Music: None | | Thursday, November 29th, 2007 | | 1:03 pm |
New thoughts.
- One more essay to go! Changing roles/statuses of women in Ireland in the nineteenth century. To be handed in tomorrow. And I am actually CONFIDENT of handing it in AND doing it. Please please please fingers crossed no fight with Mike tonight ridding me of all brain power! - Well, whilst on the topic: me and Mike = fixed? Je si l'espere.. - Professor Dutton does not like me, but perhaps if i give him a christmas present in the form of an essay on the British Constitution (since he seemed astounded when i even dared suggest that there IS one) might show him i do actually have SOME nouse and i'm not a complete bum. Which i'm pretty sure is his view of me right now. - This weekend = going home with Mike to comfy bed, parental-like comfort, good food, church on Sunday morning (first Mass of Advent). - Must call gas and electricity people to inform them cheques are in but taking a fucking age to go through so pleaseeee don't cut us off just yet.. - Need to go on to old motorola phone and acquire old texts and photos! - I am feeling good today :) That's all for now folks xxxxx | | Monday, November 19th, 2007 | | 10:56 pm |
None.
I am so fed up right now. So fed up. I went back home very briefly this weekend, and woke up on friday morning in the flat in bexleyheath, and nothing seemed so good to be there, millions of miles from everything. I am so fed up. I would go home now, or to my grandma's, but for this fucking essay i am trying to muster the energy and motivation to complete. I am quite sad and fed up. Need a boost, any ideas? Cos i know i've got none. xxx | | Wednesday, November 7th, 2007 | | 1:09 pm |
favourites?
Color: Green. Though to be honest most bright colours will get me going. Meal: English breakfast. Sandwich: Bacon and cheese and brown sauce and pepper. Soup: One of those ones with everything in. Meat: Beef or lamb. Recipe: Fairy cakes, it's so simple but the result is so yummy. Book: I am mentally exhausted right now, so out of all of them I'll go for Tunnel Vision atm. Movie: Amadeus or Sleeping Beauty. Magazine: Nein. They're all shit, men and women's alike, and all brainwash you into how you think you should look. Newspaper: Le Monde. Section of Newspaper: International. Comic Strip: Can i be old school and say Charlie Brown? Cartoon: The Smurfs. Candy: Fizzy ones. Snack: Frazzles, or peanut butter on toast. Season: Autumn or Spring when it's still cold. City: I'm not feeling cities at the moment. Ice Cream Flavor: Cookie. Ice Cream Topping: Crushed up maltesers. Soda: Fanta Lemon. Drink: Ribena or Milk. Animal: Cat, Lion, Giraffe, Cow. Music Group: Agh! The Beatles! Oasis! The Smiths! Song: Half the World Away - Oasis. Singer: Andrea Bocelli - is that his name? It's gorgeous, anyway. Genre: Of what? Actor: Hmm. Kevin Spacey? He always manages to do a stunning performance. Or maybe Steve McQueen. Actress: Dame Maggie Smith, perhaps. Game: Twister. Computer Game: Zelda. Holiday: Christmas and New Year. TV Show: Friends, Sex and the City, Prison Break. Perfume/Colonge: Jean Paul Gaultier - Classique. Poet: Spike Milligan's a crack. Author: NA. | | Monday, August 20th, 2007 | | 5:08 pm |
So I figured..
..i actually prefer the shitty weather because i HATE dressing in summer for the following reasons: - Most of my favourite clothes are just not compatible with summertime climate. You can't exactly wear tights and long socks and boots when the sun is out. - Clothes are less exciting in summer. Unless you choose to wear teeny tiny shorts and have amazing breasts so that white vest top looks just a little more interesting to the regular passer-by. Needless to say, i cannot pull off the brown legged, big titted, simple but effortlessly stunning look. And i'm not a whore either, so dirty scruffy hotpants and a netted halterneck, although variation, is out of the question. And that's about it really. Which is why i feel so like myself on this grey grim day :) Always look on the posi, eh? This week (and so forth): -Working today-thursday -Finishing essay by wednesdat night -Printing out essay on thursday -Travelling to Liverpool Friday morning to hand in essay -Have brunch with Jewdith and Flick in the Egg -TRavel from Liverpool to Darlington to Mike's. -Go to Spain on saturday. Yeehah! -Return from Spain 2nd September. -Return to the Heath 4th september. -Start packing and make sure i see claire/emma/leanne/becca/jack/kate/cooke/j oe power/the boys again/hayley and family/natalie/alex. Etc etc. -Go to Fabric on 6th september avec les girlies. -Leave for Liverpool approximately 10th september. Wooh. Love to all xxxx Current Mood: In need of fringe wash. | | Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 | | 12:09 pm |
blabababababababababbaelepepepepeepepszs. This is what i want today: 1) To come on. 2) To feel less tense. 3) To not have to work so i have the time and energy to get up and go see all of my friends. 4) To have more time for this essay. No. Correction: for mum to have the internet so that i can read my e-books on there, rather than wasting 3 nights and 3 days of not doing a single jot on it whilst i'm at hers. Which only leaves me 3 nights to complete the entire thing next week. Perhaps i'd just rather she lived closer so i didn't have to travel which would aid me in myt essay-writing. 5) To not need early nights when i am working. So that i can stay up late working on my essay. 6) To not get sensitivy or pissy about anything as i am wont to do when nearing 'that-time-of-the-month'. 7) To be around friends. Specifically girls. This will happen tonight so is not too bad. :) 8) For it not to be nearing the end of the holidays and realising i have not seen my friends half as much as i had wanted, nor teachers, nor played Kingmaker, nor hung out with some of my bestest friends as much as i'd have hoped (i have not even seen Cooke!! :[ ) Achievement today though is that i am managing to curb my tongue and watch my reactions. Well. I haven't HAD a reaction to anything, but in my lowered tone and mood i have made conscious efforts for my messages etc to others to still sound alive. Which i think i have done successfully so woo go me. xxxx | | Tuesday, August 14th, 2007 | | 3:21 pm |
| | Monday, August 13th, 2007 | | 3:36 pm |
Today is the longest and most dragging day in the entire history of Days That Are Long And Which Drag. 1) My back hurts but i still have at least another hour and a half in this darn chair. 2) I am due on and am focusing my efforts into NOT being pre-menstrual. I think it's working quite well actually. Even if it's merely that my hormones are relatively balanced right now, i am going to consider my focusing the real reason for it since the sense of achievement releases endorphins or adrenalin or something into my body which helps with this looooong afternoon. 3)I feel i really need to see a bit more of certain people before i go back to uni. Which is really all that long away. I am my mum's thursday night to sunday this week, then next friday i am travelling to Liverpool to hand in an essay then on to Mike's to go on holiday to Spain, then I am back about the 4th September, and then I have about a week/a week and a half doing nothing and then i am moving up to my house in Liverpool. I do not regret working or my weekends being full this summer holidays since everyone got back, but i do fear i have not seen people half as much as i really wanted to because of lack of time, mixed with writing an essay to re-hand in, mixed with general tiredness from it all. Hmmm. 4) I am tired of long distance now. It has been nearly a whole two months. Me and Mike were't even publically going out that long when we finally DID come out at uni. So this now feels just a little tiring and i realise it absolutely canes me everytime i have to say goodbye to him. Don't get me wrong, this is not me having a breakdown. I am actually doing pretty okay, but it is starting to wane a little. That, my dear friends, will also be the reason for my lousiness today since i said goodbye to him yesterday afternoon. Of course, i don't like to state that fact. 5) Blinding weekend at Twickenham. I find i actually enjoy rugby and becoming more and more understanding of the game. Next year i will go and watch my boyfriend play rugby for the uni. And i will probably wear the rugby shirt he bought me to wear on saturday. Christ, i have officially entered the world of girlfriend of player of rugger. Hmmm. 6) Giving up smokes is really shit. And i'm neither failing nor succeeding at it. Cutting down. Grr, who the fuck put me onto these things? Must run, work to be done! Inabit xxx Current Mood:  tired | | Friday, August 10th, 2007 | | 10:17 am |
So.
I have been working like an absolute TROOPER this week. I'm not sure if it's the high potency multi-vits, or the starflower oil, or the lots of water, or the decent sleep, but something is definitely making me move quick here in the office, and my general distraction levels seem to be on an all-time low. Don't let the negative mistake you, it's actually feels the best thing in the world to get on with work and be able to stick to it. Lord knos that never used to happen in school.. Anyway, i digress. So yes, it is not even half past 10, and i have emailed off one lot of work, and am currently well underway in anothr piece, and i'm not too sure what to do with myself in case i do actually run out of work before i have lunch, let alone before i have to go meet Mike at the station here in Greenwich. Hmm. Points of note: 1. The Princess Bride is one of the most enjoyable books i have have the splendour of reading in my life. I suggest anybody who bothers to read this post should make better use of their time and go read this book instead, it's sublime. 2. It's some days til my period now. Can we please all wish that it will come and that it was not pregnancy which made me go crazy this last weekend gone. Thank you. 3. I am doing well on the giving-up-cigs bid i think. Down to about 3 a day. Must have one in a minute. Perhaps coming into work early was a mistake.. Adieu. xxx | | Wednesday, August 1st, 2007 | | 12:40 pm |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! WE ARE BUT ANIMALS, PERHAPS? BUT JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF CANT BE FUCKED ANYMORE GO AWAY YOU BIG STUPID FUCKING REACTIVE BRAIN. GOD YOU CAN JUST BE SO CONTRADICTORY AT TIMES. RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH KJFEWJ HFJUEHFJHEDFCJ HDJCHDW CDWHCK DWJCJDCJKDJCLK DJCKJDKJC DIIJNMNNNCNCJJC |
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